Beaded Earrings

Finally, something I can wear that will ward off the evil eye!

Sure, lots of people worry about infectious diseases, natural disasters, violent fundamentalist groups, or economic calamity... but the thing that often keeps me laying awake at night is the evil eye. You know what I mean--you snag the last shirt from the clearance rack (except for the one sized XXXXXXXXL), and as you step walk away you get the evil eye from two other shoppers. You win the office iPad raffle even though you only bought one ticket, and the guy that bought 74 gives you the evil eye as you walk up to claim your prize. You shove that kid out of the way at Chuck E Cheese so you can get a turn at ski ball (He'd been playing for like 15 minutes! It was time for somebody else to get a turn!), and you get evil eyes from the kid's parents.

Sure, there are lots of other things that are potentially worse in the world, but none of them happen to you multiple times a day. So until you learn to be a nicer person, buy a pair of these earrings, which are made with beads that, according to the artisan, ward off the evil eye.